Friday, January 4, 2008

What do you see?

I just finished watching this movie called "Freedom Writers"...well, I sorta walked in halfway through, but it was enough to get me thinking. In the movie this teacher, Miss G, inspires her class of at risk students to see past their junk and to see their full potential. She sees past their behavior problems, attitude, and hard exterior into the real them...she looks at them with great hope, care, and love.

After I graduated from Penn State I got accepted into a program called Teach For America, this program focuses on educational inequality and purposefully places teachers in urban and rural areas that are extremely rough. These are some of the worst schools in the U.S. and in some of the toughest parts. I was placed in a school that had a 50% dropout rate in the projects and was primarily made of Black and some Hispanic students. The area was number one in AIDS/HIV, teenage pregnancy, and drug trafficking. Filled with extreme poverty, some major drug problems, as well as violence.... the community as a whole was in a very desperate condition. I was placed in a behavioral classroom because none of the other teachers would teach these students. They were known as the worst of the worst, and in a place this rough, that's pretty bad! Their ages ranged from 14 to 21, and I was 22 years young and fresh out of college. By law they needed to be served till the age of 21 because of their severe behavioral and emotional problems.

As I watched this movie, it made me really miss my students. It took me back to that time and that place that seems stuck somewhere in my mind. To this day I've never really figured out how to translate my experience and how to share it with others. It took me to a time where I thought, "God I so desperately want to make a difference in these students' lives, but where in the world do I begin? And how?" I can remember all their faces, names, looks, and ridiculous behaviors. Most importantly, I can relate to her desire to see them succeed and having eyes to see them as so much more than they've ever seen themselves as. I have plenty of insane stories, memories of things that seem completely surreal and just plain outrageous! I remember the very first fight that broke out in my class and how terrified I was...how in the world do I stop a 6 foot dude from punching a 5 foot girl in the face?? I couldn't even believe that physical fights broke out between guys and girls; I figured it would be at least same gender. But I can also remember that same guy thanking me when he passed his exam that would allow him the chance to graduate, something that he never thought he could achieve. He didn't even really know how to thank me, he sorta stuttered and said something along the lines of "Ay, Miss A., I just wanna say...you know, I'm just sayin', you know...thanks". I remember telling him that I had nothing to do with his success, that he was able to achieve this because he worked hard and that he was able to accomplish even greater things. I told him that I was extremely proud of him and that he needed to go home and tell his mom how well he's done...and that he now has a chance to graduate. It was one the most cherished moments for me and I will forever remember it. I have many hard stories mixed in with many wonderful ones too and several things that I learned as I journeyed alongside some of these so-called "behavioral students". But one of the greatest things that I learned was that we need to look at people with great hope, anticipation, and that we need push them to reach their full potential. Many had given up on these students and many viewed me as "the young naive teacher who's way too idealistic and just doesn't know any better". I'd rather fall under that banner time and time again, then land where so many have landed...in hopelessness and giving up on these incredible students.

You see, God sees people...He really SEES THEM!! They matter to Him. He looks at you and me and sees us where we're at, but also where we can be and could be. He looks at me with eyes full of GREAT HOPE, POTENTIAL, and HE CHEERS FOR ME EVEN WHEN I'M NOT PLAYING!!!!!! His unfailing love pushes us to be the people that we've never thought we could be, His love says "I know you, I know where you're right in this moment, I know your mess ups and mistakes, and I also know who you can be...and who you are. YOU ARE NOT DISPOSABLE. You are my child, I delight over you, you bring me joy, I sing over you because you make my heart skip when I see you...I not only love you, but I really, really like you too! I'm crazy about you, you matter, and you are good...so, so incredibly good. Regardless of your past, your future is FULL of new and promising things; life changing things! I just can't wait for you to see yourself as you really are."

One thing that would stick in my mind every morning before my students walked into the room was this crazy statement that I heard in my training...."For every bad or negative thing that a person hears, seven positive or good things need to be communicated to that person in order to just bring them back to square one." This basically means that I need to meaningfully and truthfully articulate seven positive things to them in order to just bring them back to equilibrium, to bring them back to the starting point. It's not even a compliment; it's just the basic starting grounds! I thought about that everyday as my students would walk in and I would wonder, "How many bad things were said to you today? How many awful things were hurled in your direction?" And I would make it a point to celebrate them, to sincerely point out the good that I saw and make sure to name it specifically...to speak HOPE into them! They thought I was crazy..."Dag Miss A, you always say this crazy stuff, you exaggerate". You see, they didn't believe that there was any good in them, they were taught for so long that they were disposable and "bad", and they sadly believed it. Then I come around and say the exact opposite because I know that God sees them as not just "ok or good, but GREAT!"...He sees them with eyes of Hope! It took a while for them to believe it, but they slowly began to change and for some of them it was the first time that anyone has ever believe in them or thought anything good about them. By the end of the year, these so-called "failures" stunned an Administration by passing the exam that had kept them from graduating time and again. No students had passed it the year before me, and there were 15 teachers in and out of that room, I was the first EVER full-time teacher that they had! By the end of my first year teaching, 32 students passed, setting the highest number of "bad" kids passing this exam in the entire history of the school!! They had never, ever seen that happened.

I don't share this to "toot my own horn"; in fact, it's the complete opposite. I share this as a testimony to what GOD can do when we allow Him to use us and when we begin to see people through HIS EYES! When we begin to ask for His Perspective, His Hope, and His Love...He changes us and those around us as well because He unveils our eyes to see the worth of people, the value, and the great, great potential and hope. He brings beauty to the ashes that surround us. He makes us a sweet fragrance in a place that can seem dry, sour, and harsh. I'm not this amazing teacher, I just loved these students like crazy and they knew that I deeply cared for them. I just bought into what God says about people...they matter and they are good and not one single one is disposable or hopeless. Every single person matters to Him and therefore should matter to us. I hope that God continues to unveil our eyes to see the great beauty around us, His greatest treasure, His greatest masterpiece, His greatest love...people.